The Future.

I don't want this to sound like an angry venting post, because it isn't. Keep that in mind when reading this. 

I wish people would stop telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing at this age. "You're too young to be thinking about [insert a topic here]." Every person is different. I might be young, but I'm still an adult. I'm old enough to be making my own decisions. People are always telling me that and then following it with their own bit of advice. It really throws me off. I spend so much of my life trying to please other people, and though I'm trying to get better about that, it is how I am. I'm always worried about disappointing my friends, my parents, even my high school teachers. It's a problem. 

What's wrong with having a five year plan? What's wrong with thinking about my future? Isn't it a good thing that I'm thinking ahead? These questions are constantly going through my head. 

Yes. I'm only twenty years old. Yes. I'm only a sophomore in college. BUT I don't want to end up without a plan. 

There is nothing wrong with thinking about grad school or where I want to end up living after college. There is nothing wrong with thinking about marriage and having a family. I'm not planning on doing it tomorrow. Or anytime soon really. But it is going to happen eventually. I'm sick of people treating discussion of the future like it's a jinx. I'm going to do what I think is right for me. 

I'm not sure if I'm writing this to vent, or to convince myself that I don't have to please everyone, but either way, I think it needed to be said. 

That is all.

There's No Place Like My Other Home

I know I never finished my "Days of Thankfulness" posts, but who really finishes those? I guess you can just consider this another thing I am thankful for.

I was home for a month over winter break in December/January. I spent a lot of time at my mom's house, which was fantastic. I had a great time with my mom and my siblings. Christmas was fantastic. Here's the thing though, I have a great home. I always have. That really doesn't surprise very many people. Sure there are times where I wish I was somewhere else, but that's what it means to spend time with your family. You love them most of the time, but sometimes you hate them.

My point is: my home is great, but the last few years, I've slowly found that I have something that I never really expected to have. Another home.

I spent the last two weeks at Nick's house in North Carolina. It was amazing. I guess I've been around so much that I am practically considered family. That is such an honor. My own family HAS to accept me, but to be accepted into a family that I initially had no ties to... It's great. It means that I always have a place to go. Two homes. Two families. I feel like I'm a part of something. And every time I go back something has changed. His sister is 7 now, and she actually hugs me when I leave and gets excited to play with me instead of being bashful. His brother and I have some intense conversations. He's graduating this year, and it's kind of crazy. I knew him before he was a freshman. It's crazy to watch everyone grow up and see the changes that happen over time.

Sorry for rambling, but I just needed the one or two people that still read this to know that I am incredibly grateful for everything that Nick and his family have done for me. They really are an amazing group of people.