Having a bad habit sucks, especially when it's noticeable. People are constantly telling you to stop and you feel like you'll never be able to.
Finding out that your bad habit is actually an obsessive-compulsive related disorder is worse. The word disorder is scary. It makes you feel like you're broken there is nothing that can fix you.
This happened to me. Recently. As in like yesterday. I'm not quite ready to share the details of my story. It's embarrassing and I'm too self-conscious about it. I hope that one day this will change. Baby steps.
But I can say this. It's a relief. Knowing that I'm not just terrible at quitting a bad habit, knowing that there are other people with the same problem as me, accepting who I am and what this is. It's all a relief.
It means I'm not alone. And even though I know this problem will never go away, it means that I can try. I can improve and live a healthy life without freaking out every time I go back to my old ways.
I think I'll be okay. I can handle this :)
No comments:
Post a Comment